For Hopeless Romantics
by Spiderweb Sky
Summary: As sweet as this movie was, it obviously didn't have enough romantic moments to satisfy us. Right? Nine post-movie kisses that hopefully do the trick.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Right? Right? I own nothing. Judge away.

For Hopeless Romantics

"Once he gets into one of his ideas, there's no stopping him," Minion explained, offering Roxanne a brownie. She took one but made no move to eat it, instead flipping the square over and over in her fingers as she cast about the empty lair passively.

"What do you mean?" she asked, the reporter in her asking the question mindlessly.

Minion waved the box at the lab, where a large amount of sparks and heavy rock music were issuing. "He says evil is the only thing he's good at, but really it's inventing that he lives for. He'll go for days and days on end with no food or sleep to finish his designs. He just works until he is too tired to keeps his eyes open; grabs a few hours of sleep on the couch and goes right back at it. I mostly stay out of his way, and fetch him things like supplies or food." Minion stopped to consider the almost full box of brownies. "Actually, if it wasn't for me forcing him to eat and take a break every one and a while, I doubt he'd even be alive at this point."

Roxanne chuckled half-heartedly and stared at her brownie. "And he never stops for anything?"

"Pretty much. He doesn't really eat the food I get him anyway, it actually gets thrown around most of the time instead." Minion sighed, much like a disappointed parent. "The only time I've seen him stop at all is for you, now that I think about it."

Roxanne snapped her head up, her comment about the sheer amount of junk food littering the lair dying on her tongue. "Me?"

"Yeah," Minion was peering down at her with amusement. "It was Bernard's phone. He would actually stop scheming to talk to you. That whole thing with Tighten, he was distracted pretty much through all of it."

"Really?" Roxanne felt strangely honored. She smiled secretly at her brownie, then held it accusingly in Minion's face, practically smashing it against the glass. "And all you get him is deserts and snack food?"

Minion had the grace to look uncomfortable as he shrugged. "The man lives off of sugar. I can't get him to eat anything else."

"No wonder he's so hyperactive all the time," Roxanne muttered to herself. When she mentally reviewed all of her dates with him as Bernard, she couldn't recall him actually eating anything that wasn't total crap; an ice cream cone in the park, a pretzel at the museum, not to mention unmeasurable amounts of coffee in the library. The only time she had gotten him into a real restaurant she had thrown her drink in his face and stormed out before the bread could even arrive. She squirmed at the memory of that night, but remained firm that he deserved it for lying... well, most of it, anyway.

"Well, that's going to have to change," she said determinedly, brushing past a grinning Minion into Megamind's lab.

The music was almost deafening. The electric guitar assaulted her ears, the lyrics to "Smoke on the Water," drowned out by the sounds of metal popping and hissing under a blowtorch. Megamind had his back to her, nodding his giant head unconsciously to the beat as he worked. Sometimes Roxanne wondered if he went out of the way to make his designs overly complicated so he would have the opportunity to make as big a mess as possible putting them together. Scrap metal and discarded bolts littered the floor around his stool; his feet tucked under to avoid getting any hot bits on the felt bat slippers.

"Megamind!" Roxanne yelled. He made no motion like he had heard her at all. Roxanne tried again, louder this time, without getting any closer, for fear that he might accidentally weld her instead. No reaction. She picked up a rather large washer as it rolled towards her.

"Yo Megs!" she shouted again, chucking the washer at his shoulder. He jolted, and as she expected, whipped around and held the still-lit blowtorch out in front of him. He had on a singed AC/DC t-shirt and his blue radiation sign pajama bottoms that were striped with grease stains. He ripped funny dark goggles off his face as he recognized her.

"Roxanne!" His green eyes lit up with unconstrained delight. "Oh, ah..." He sheepishly turned off his blowtorch and seemed to realize what a messy state he was in. "I didn't expect- That is, I'm not- Oh... um, hi." Roxanne giggled as he bounced over to her, stopping before they actually touched.

Roxanne stamped out her exasperation that he was still not taking the initiative to even hug her. Any other man at this stage in the relationship, early as it was, would have greeted her with a hug, or some sort of physical contact. It made her slightly sad that Megamind was so ostracized his whole life that he didn't even realize how much he was missing. "Hi." She waited awkwardly for him to reach out, but he just gazed at her with those unearthly green eyes, tapping his fingers nervously on his leg. She leaned in, trying to hint with her own eyes that it was okay to touch her, that she was not going to scream or throw drinks at him or anything of the sort if he did.

"Oh, the music..." he said, turning to search for the remote. 'For heaven's sake' Roxanne thought, pouncing on him for a hug. For a split second she felt his spine lock at the still unfamiliar gesture, but then he all but melted into the hug. It made her stomach twist that he was so tentative to human contact when he obviously desperately needed it; she was just going to have to train him out of that particular habit. He loosened his grip, obviously expecting the hug to be over, so she tightened her clutch on his back, pressing her mouth into the bare blue skin right above his t-shirt's neckline and the rest of her body into his. He shivered as he enveloped her in his long arms, his heart thudding wildly against her own. She let them stand there for a few long minutes, marveling at just how skinny he was as he let out short, hot breaths on the back of her neck.

Eventually, as his slight trembling subsided and his breathing became more even, Roxanne let go of his back. For once he didn't immediately react, instead he held on to her as if she was his anchor to reality. She slid her hands onto his shoulders and he disengaged like he was going to scald her. Before he could leap away she placed a small kiss on his jaw just below his left ear. He actually melted at that; she could tell his knees gave way slightly as he wobbled under her hands. To have that kind of effect on a person from just a small kiss was... intoxicating.

"Hi," she said again as they stepped apart. He was wearing that ridiculously happy smile of his, like he had just received a thousand Christmas and birthday presents all wrapped up in sunshine and rainbows. It was so contagious that she couldn't help but grin back at him as she held up her brownie square. "Minion says that you might be getting hungry."

He glanced over at his work table which was strewn with multiple half-assembled pieces of something. He looked genuinely surprised that any time had passed at all since he began making whatever it was he was making. "I don't think so," he said uncertainly. "It's only been a few hours since I started, and I had a muffin right before that..."

"It's been almost twenty seven hours, sir," came Minion's voice from somewhere out in the lair. Roxanne gaped at him.

"Twenty seven hours? Really Megamind? You're coming out with me right now to get some pizza or something. Honestly..."

"I really don't want anything right now," Megamind cast his work table a longing glance, but when he met eyes with her he was clearly torn. She took a bite out of her brownie and made an exaggerated show of enjoying it, wiggling the rest under his nose.

"Come on," she tugged on his arm, but he didn't move.

"Okay... but I just worked out the calibration for the electron magnetic transfer, so if I could just real quick..." He swayed towards his lab with his eyes pleading with her.

Roxanne sighed and rolled her eyes, stuffing the rest of the brownie in her mouth and grabbing the front of his shirt right on the lightning bolt with both hands. Megamind just looked utterly shocked as she closed her eyes and tugged his lips to hers. Before he could even think of reacting, she pulled away and grabbed his hands as he gasped at the suddenness of the whole kiss. She tugged on him again, feeling a blush creep into her cheeks at his expression. "C'mon, let's get Chinese or something, my treat."

"Kay," he said in a stunned voice, following her obediently out of his lab, a crumb of chocolate on his lip.

* * *

He put down his tools at the first shout of his name when she walked in the next morning. And although he still didn't initiate the hug, he didn't hesitate either. Roxanne let go, proud of herself for making progress in the hugging department. But it seemed that Megamind wasn't quite done, he leaned in to briefly press his lips to hers. Unlike all of their earlier kisses, Roxanne reacted instantly, kissing him back with more passion than either of them expected. His kisses were slow and soft, just like the first one when he was still Bernard, and she let herself float in them, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and neck when she sensed him trying to finish the kiss politely. His spidery hands rested lightly on her waist, and when she swiped her tongue on his bottom lip he parted them, surprised.

Suddenly, the kiss became so much more, like she had unlocked the door to all his loneliness and isolation, and the only cure was her. He let go of all his previous inhibitions, tangling her tightly in his arms as he kissed her with reckless abandon. She let herself get swept up in it; his gangly arms were somehow tied around her waist and back with one hand sliding into her short hair, his skinny little beard tickling her chin. She let out a small moan of pleasure, no one had ever kissed her like this before. He was kissing her with all his heart, like he was drowning and she was his air. They continued like that for some time, finally breaking apart for oxygen. He still held onto her, green eyes searching her face like he wasn't sure if he should apologize or say something else. "Roxanne-" he began, his voice choking on emotion. She didn't want to hear him stumble through an apology that she didn't want, so she closed the gap to kiss him again. It wasn't quite so desperate, but the kiss still had volumes of emotion in it. She let it meander back to the soft, safe kisses from before, once again letting herself drift and giving Megamind the control over the kiss. He let it fizzle out slowly with smaller and smaller kisses, disentangling himself from her. His last one ended with a smile, his lashes dark on his blue cheeks.

* * *

She pushed him and he sat heavily on her bed, shivering slightly. Despite his best efforts to keep his right hand clamped on his left arm, blue blood still oozed between his fingers and down his elbow to leave a small trail on her carpet. "I still don't understand why we don't just go back to the Lair instead." he complained, watching her search her medicine cabinet in a slightly panicked manner. "I've got plenty of stuff there, and I wouldn't be bleeding all over your apartment."

"Can it," Roxanne said shortly, tossing a box of gauze and a bottle of peroxide onto the poofy comforter. "The Lair is all the way across town, and it's filthy besides." She came to sit next to him on the bed, plopping a few towels next to her. He glanced up at her, some unreadable expression on his face. "Or we could still go to the hospital," Roxanne offered softly, brushing his temple. "It's not too late for that."

Megamind grunted, looking slightly alarmed and disturbed at the thought of a hospital. He peeled his fingers away from his wound, helping her rip the sleeve of his shirt out of the way. She grimaced at the sight of his flesh cut and burned, but he seemed unsurprised by the sight. "By the way," he said quietly, his eyes on her hands as she cleaned and dressed his arm. "Thank you."

Roxanne let out a frazzled breath as she watched his arm fizz with peroxide without him flinching. "It's nothing." She tried to meet eyes with him but he was still staring at his injured arm. "It would have really been nothing if you hadn't jumped at that guy like that."

"But you-"

"I can handle myself. I was out of range anyway. It was a nice gesture, though."

"Oh." They were silent as she wrapped up his arm, a rarity for him. "I meant, thank you, for... you know, everything."

She finished with a little knot. "What?" She hadn't meant to sound so disbelieving, but he just sounded so... sad.

Megamind let out a huge gusting sigh, scrubbing at his head with both hands. "I mean everything. For you. For you forgiving me, for believing in me, for taking me out to nice places, for not screaming whenever you-"

Roxanne cut him off by sealing her lips to his. He made muffled noises, like he was trying to continue his speech, but she wouldn't let him. She continued to kiss him until he surrendered into it, stopping only when he hissed as he tried to move his mangled arm. She leaned back and surveyed his face, a slightly paler shade of blue than normal and dark circles under his eyes. Megamind tried to play off his sudden weakness, leaning into her to try and continue kissing her. Despite her best efforts, a small laugh escaped her. "You're hurt. You should rest now."

He groaned and succeeded in kissing her again. "Rest later," he muttered around her mouth. He sucked in a breath through his teeth as he tried to move again.

Roxanne smiled, pressing her forehead into his and opening her eyes. "Rest now," she said determinedly, and with that she gathered her supplies and left the room to put them away. When she returned she found him flopped over on the end of her bed, his long legs dangling off and his face pressed into the comforter to prevent his arm from touching anything. She grinned, but as she was leaning over him to whisper in his ear he grabbed her with his good arm and tugged her next to him. She giggled and snuggled into a more comfortable position against his chest. "I was just going to say that usually people sleep at the top of the bed." His eyes, inches from her own opened. It still surprised her how green they were, and expressive.

"If I let you go, you might not come back." She could tell that exhaustion was playing a huge part in the emotion behind those words, but nonetheless he still had that kicked puppy face. She traced his angular face with her fingertips and placed a small kiss on his lips.

"That will never happen," she whispered as she curled herself into him, careful of his injured arm. She felt, rather than heard him sigh, and the gentle heavy breaths as he finally fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **WOW. You guys are great. Thank you SO much for all the reviews and favorites and alerts! Because of you, I wrote more. Well, first I watched a chapstick commercial, then I listened to all the killer fanmixes over on LJ, _then_ I wrote more. Here ya go!

Chapter 2

The first thing he did after everyone got over the shock of Roxanne entering with the ex-villain on her arm was loosen his tie and undo the top button on his shirt. She patted his bony elbow, looped tightly in hers. "Relax," she muttered, smiling politely at a slack-jawed coworker. "They'll get over it."

"It's not _them_ I'm worried about." Megamind muttered back, although he did lessen his arm's death-grip on hers. "I just don't understand why I have to wear a little noose around my neck all night."

Roxanne giggled and stopped to adjust the knot over the open button so it was less noticeable. At least he hadn't popped his collar. Yet. "Because, it makes you look handsome," she tugged on the tie and he smiled, leaning in like he was going to kiss her. She flicked the end at him. "Just act casual for a few hours and then we'll split, okay?"

She knew he was still uncomfortable in regular society, even though most of the city had accepted him as a hero. His hand stayed tight in hers throughout the night as she made casual small talk with her friends and colleges, occasionally inserting a comment or two and expertly ignoring the whispering going on around them. He was uncharacteristically quiet, but Roxanne had heard Minion telling him earlier to 'tone down for her benefit, because it was her work's holiday party, and she needed some normalcy'. She was touched that he had lasted this long without bursting into some huge rant about who-knows-what, although his twitching increased as he watched several couples start to slow dance in the middle of the hotel ballroom.

"Do you want a drink?" he almost interrupted the gossip columnist's speech about purses, and Roxanne had to fight not to look too relieved. She was just as bored, but his constant finger-drumming on her hand and foot tapping was getting to the point of other people noticing. "I'm going to get you a drink," he announced, a little too loudly, leaning in to peck her cheek but deciding against it at the last second. She watched him wander off, resolving that next time she would develop a secret code so that he could make up an excuse that would allow her to leave too.

"Thank goodness," said the gossip columnist, a round woman named Tracy or Trisha or something like that. Roxanne turned back to her. "I thought he'd never leave. Gives me the creeps."

"Well, he shouldn't anymore." Roxanne said, attempting to keep her voice light and casual.

"Oh I know," another one of the fashion girls, this one's name was Marcy, she was pretty sure, joined in the conversation. "He's just so... uck, I don't even know!"

"Alien?" Tracy/Trisha supplied. Marcy nodded. Roxanne narrowed her eyes slightly.

"Metro Man is alien too, and you didn't have a problem with him." Please let Megamind be taking his time with the drinks, she thought. He doesn't need this.

"Metro Man was much better looking, and a total charmer to boot." Marcy fanned her face with her polished hand, fluttering overly made-up eyelashes like she was going to swoon at the thought of him.

Another girl, an intern, Roxanne guessed, added, "Yeah, Metro Man was super hot. Not weird like Megamind. I mean, to start, he's effin _blue_."

"I just don't know how you could like him," Tracy/Trisha laid a sympathetic hand on Roxanne, as if she believed her to be sick or mentally unstable. "It's too bad about Metro Man, he could have saved you from this embarrassing relationship."

"Yes, anything to keep you from being seen _in public_ with that freak. It was bad enough when he kidnapped you, but now that you're with him _willingly_..." Marcy trailed off, suddenly searching her little clutch purse with far too much interest. "Anyway, I think I need to visit the powder room, if you'll excuse me..."

"I'll join you," Tracy/Trisha squawked. The intern didn't even try excusing herself, hurrying off with the other two. Roxanne didn't bother to hide her fury at their retreating backs. She turned, cringing internally. Megamind, wordlessly handed her a glass of eggnog, looking determinedly un-crushed.

"How much of that did you hear?" Roxanne asked quietly. He studied his glass.

"Enough. I can leave, if it's too embarrassing for you." His voice was curiously nonchalant, as if he was talking to her about the weather, or maybe robots. She wondered how many of the off-color comments he had heard throughout the night he actually considered to be true.

She grabbed his wrist and actually growled. "No, don't leave. Urg, those three, I swear. Completely uncalled for. Rude, that's what that was." he quirked the corners of his mouth up politely. "Here, give me your gun for just a second, I'll be right back."

"Roxanne," his smile lightened to normal. "Really, don't worry about it. I've heard much worse. You can't be mad when you have eggnog anyway, see?" He took a sip of his demonstratively. "Oh wow, this stuff is much better than the prison kind." Her heart, already tight from her previous conversation, squeezed even more. She took a sip of her own drink, not really tasting it.

"This sucks, let's get out of here." He looked surprised. "The party, not the eggnog."

"Oh, right." he chewed his lip briefly, staring into her eyes. "You don't have to leave because of me. I'll be fine."

"I want to leave," she said, her heart fracturing at his sincerity. "I've had enough of this fancy-schmancy party."

"Okay," he agreed, a little too happily, setting his unfinished eggnog on a nearby table. Roxanne did the same and grabbed his hand, grinning conspiratorially at him. They tip-toed along the wall, pretending to sneak out just a little too outrageously, Roxanne leading the way. Suddenly Megamind grabbed her arm with his other hand and pulled her aside. They ended up in the coat closet.

"What?" she whispered, leaning into his chest. Megamind cleared his throat.

"Nothing, it's just there's some guy out there who won't leave me alone. He should pass soon."

"A bad guy? One of the convicts?" Roxanne giggled, unexpectedly excited at the thought of danger. Megamind raised an eyebrow at her, then shifted uncomfortably.

"No, it was some guy I pulled out of that apartment fire last month. He keeps finding me and wanting to shake my hand, buy me a drink, get an autograph, on and on and on, he's relentless."

"Wait," Roxanne let out a stream of giggles again. "You're hiding from a fanboy? Someone who wants to thank you?" The door opened as someone reached in for a jacket, and Megamind pulled her into the rack of coats, tweed and wool falling around their heads like a tent.

"It's very uncomfortable!" Megamind insisted. "Insults are easy. Compliments are different." Her eyes were level with his lopsided tie, a peek of his blue neck showing underneath at the open button, and suddenly Roxanne realized that she wasn't just casually dating this man anymore. She gasped in comprehension, and looked up at him. He was watching her, uncertainty still in those big green eyes, the sleeve of a jacket trailing over his head. He had no idea. Well, neither had she, until a few seconds ago, but that wasn't the point. She had fallen for him, hard.

Holy hell. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling herself closer. His eyes drifted shut, one of his long hands reaching up to cup the side of her face as she kissed him. There was a spark of energy between them, and she bit into his lip enthusiastically. She had meant for the kiss to be soft and healing, sort of an 'I'm sorry for everything you've had to deal with tonight' kind of kiss, but it had transformed into an 'Oh my god, I think I'm in love with you' kind of kiss. At least for her. She felt like she couldn't get enough of him, and he was kissing back with mild surprise and equal energy, like he hadn't expected her to kiss him after everything but was happy it happened anyway. She pushed him into the coats and hangars screeched overhead. He grinned, his teeth against her tongue, as he braced himself. There was the sound of the door opening and closing again, but Roxanne could barely pause, wrapping herself more around his sharp frame and kissing him relentlessly.

They both yelped as he lost his footing and they tumbled onto the carpet, coats falling around them. She landed on top of him, and would have just continued to make out with him had not someone opened the door to investigate. And Roxanne would have just given a 'get the hell outta here' glare until the person left if it had not been her boss. He grinned as Roxanne shot up to her knees, tugging her dress into place and blushing. Megamind wormed his way out from under her, blushing violet as well but grinning as her helped pull her to her feet.

"Just looking for her coat," Megamind practically laughed, and like magic he simply plucked it off the rack and draped it in her arms.

"Oh there it is!" she gasped, floundering to put it on so she could hide her very hot face. She swore she heard her boss chuckle. "Thank-you-for-getting-me-that-Megs-you-should-grab-yours-oh-you-have-it-now-okay-let's-go-bye-Mr.-Vandelay-wonderful-party-I'll-see-you-Monday!" She tugged Megamind's hand and nearly ran out the door. Behind her she knew her boss was laughing.

"The eggnog was lovely!" Megamind yelled over his shoulder as they sprinted out into the night.

* * *

They walked back to her apartment, swinging their clasped hands between them like schoolchildren. Carlos had given his best performance yet, somehow managing to both open the door for her and dive for cover at the same time. They laughed somewhat evilly the whole way up on the elevator at the look on his face, Roxanne holding the rail for support and Megamind more watching her than laughing.

He twirled her into her apartment after she unlocked the door, and there she was, for the second time that night wrapped in his arms and staring at his clumsily knotted tie and undone button. "We never danced," she mourned as he stripped off his jacket and helped her with hers.

"I don't dance," Megamind tossed their coats on the back of a chair, carefully arranging hers so it didn't fall. Roxanne smirked at the back of his head.

"What the _hell_ are you talking about? You dance _all_ the time." She placed one hand on her hip as he turned around, and he glanced briefly at it before meeting her eyes. She quirked an eyebrow at him, waiting for his explanation.

"I don't dance, I rock out," he said seriously. Roxanne laughed, her stomach aching after all the un-ladylike guffawing she had been doing all night, and grabbed her stereo remote from the kitchen counter. Megamind pouted for a second, his eyes shining as he tried not to laugh along with her. She flicked through radio stations until she found an appropriate slow song.

"Dance with me," she said, her voice surprisingly soft. She grabbed his arms and tugged him into the center of her living room. He stood there doubtfully as she placed one of his hands on her waist and the other grasped in hers. He swayed as she swayed, smiling at each other.

To give Megamind some credit, he picked up things very fast. Before the end of the song they we sashaying around her couch like they had been dance partners for years. "Don't dance, ha," Roxanne snorted at him. He dipped her in perfect Hollywood style in response and she squeaked, sliding her arms around his neck. His tie flopped by her nose and he gave her that face-splitting grin (that she had fallen in love with?), both of them breathless when he pulled her upright. The song ended and another one started up; he kept up a slow side to side motion, his long fingers on the spine of her lower back, her arms dangling on his shoulders. Roxanne had never quite understood the phrase 'lost in your eyes' until this moment, his were just so _green_ and full of adoration and devotion.

His eyes flicked down to her lips. She watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed, his own lips parting ever so slightly. He leaned in and she let him close the gap between them. His eyes flicked up, once, twice, checking that she was okay with him kissing her. Roxanne couldn't help it, her eyes drifted shut as he carefully captured her mouth with his, his arms sliding up her back. He kept the kiss sweet and soft, like they were back at her work party in the middle of the ballroom.

She was in love with Megamind. There was no way she could go from making out in a closet to dancing in her living room like they were in junior high to a kiss this simple and perfect all in one night without her being totally, completely in love with him. She started to deepen the kiss and he complied, suddenly infused with the same kind of energy she had back among other people's coats. His fingertips tickled the bare skin by her shoulder blades, and she gasped lightly at the thrill. Megamind skipped over her pause impatiently by moving kisses along her cheek to her neck, sucking on the skin at the corner of her jaw. She nuzzled into him as he slid his mouth down her neck, her arms holding him even closer. A small part of her was jealous that he had managed to chew on her neck before she had gotten to his. He nipped at her collarbone and she locked one leg over his hip, arching her back into him.

There was an explosion somewhere in the city and they both jumped. Megamind's grip on her switched from passionate to protective, swinging her away from the blast. Over his shoulder Roxanne watched a fireball blossom between brownstones, smoke curling upwards, dyed orange with the fire. He turned and watched it as well, his breathing hot and ragged on her temple.

"Was that... the hotel?" Roxanne's fingers curled into Megamind's shirt, knowing what was coming but unwilling all the same.

"Hey, it wasn't me." Megamind unwound his arms from her and plucked her hands from his shoulders. "Hero time, love." He placed a quick, playful kiss on her temple and bounced out onto her balcony where he had left his rocketbike earlier that evening.

"What-" Roxanne's hands grabbed slowly at the air where he had stood moments before, thrown by his last word. "Wait-" whatever she was going to say next was drowned out by the roar of his bike as he zoomed out over the city. She stumbled outside, feeling like she was swimming through molasses. He flashed around the corner of a skyscraper, the light from the explosion already dying out, the wail of sirens permeating the ringing in her ears and the soft melody on her stereo inside.

* * *

Long fingers brushed her bangs out of her face and Roxanne woke up with a jolt. The outline of Megamind was bent over her, his face lost in shadow. She shot up to a sitting position on her couch, narrowly missing his large skull with her own. Since when had her apartment gotten so dark?

"You didn't have to wait up for me," Megamind said quietly as she rubbed her eyes and searched for a light, frustrated at herself for falling asleep.

"What happened? Are you okay?" her voice was scratchy with exhaustion and worry as she slapped the lamp next to her couch on. Megamind blinked in the light, smiling tiredly at her.

"It seems I can't go to fancy things without ruining something. Someone heard I was at your gala and came looking for me." Roxanne looked over his entire frame with narrowed eyes. He raised his hands to reassure her. "Don't worry, I got him and everyone's fine. He was no match for Megamind: Incredibly Handsome Master of all-"

Roxanne cut right through his preening, knowing by now that most of his grandiose blather was actually used to hide his self consciousness. "What about you? Are you okay?" Other than his tie scorched and missing a few inches on the end, he appeared untouched. She frowned at the smoking ends swinging in front of her face. She had picked that tie out just for him. Green, like his eyes, although she had said it was to match her dress (which was also was chosen specifically for the shade).

Megamind scoffed. "Of course I'm okay." She glared up at him. He had his hands on his skinny hips, that slightly egotistical sneer from his villain days playing around his eyebrows, his cheeks flushed with adrenaline. At her glare however, the conceited air faded around him. "So, interesting night," he said awkwardly, straightening slowly. "Now that you're awake and mad at me for some reason that I have no idea about, I think I'm gonna go..."

Roxanne rubbed tiredly at a smear of mascara under her eyes, then reached up an yanked on his ruined tie, dragging him down to her. "Ack! See, that's what I mean about these little nooses being death traps-" his complaint cut short when he landed on top of her, his knees flanking her hips.

"Megamind," Roxanne snarled, pulling on his tie until he was level with her. His eyes widened. "Shut up already." She smashed her lips into his, holding his tie taunt to keep him in place. He braced his hands on the back of her couch, practically growling into his kiss. She slid her hands up the tie, undid the knot and whipped it off in one smooth motion, moving to unbutton his shirt. On either side of her head his hands trembled as his elbows turned to jell-o. She finished with the buttons and ran her palms up his bare abdomen, feeling his muscles tighten under her touch. He groaned, his elbows thumping into the back of the couch as he pushed his body into her hands and she sucked on his lower lip. His skin was hot, like he had been standing in flames, and her cool hands left shivers and goosebumps in their wake.

Roxanne twisted her body, guiding him with her hands as she pushed him into her couch. He looked up at her with dark eyes as she shifted between his legs. The contrast of his open white shirt strewn around his torso made the blue of his skin seem richer and darker, more of an indigo than his usual shade of sky blue. She traced a finger up from his belly button, moving across his ribs and muscles that weren't quite the same shape as a human, drawing herself up to him to kiss him again.

She let herself lay on top of him, not really caring that her dress was up around her hips as she kissed all sense out of him. His hands were gripping her waist, still gentlemanly in touching her. She switched to sucking on his fabulous neck, her hands groping his sides and shoulders desperately. His ribs were still exposed and visible, despite the double effort of Minion and now Roxanne to stuff as much unhealthy food into him as possible. It made Roxanne's heart ache a little at how emaciated he was; how she had never noticed; how his hands were so gentle and feather light on her like she was made of paper, rubbing the material of her skirt between his fingers. She chewed on his neck right were it met his left shoulder, determined to make a mark. Her body pressed into his bare chest, the heat radiating off his skin seeping into her stomach. Why was he so damn hot? He moaned softly as she skimmed her hands up to his head, feeling his forehead and rubbing his scalp, both of which were just as hot as the rest of his body. His hands trailed from her waist to her shoulder blades, his fingers plucking at the zipper on the back of her dress.

"Megamind," she mumbled into his neck, and instantly his hands left the zipper on her dress. She pulled herself up to eye level with him, her nose brushing his. He looked a little sad, wetting his lips almost nervously, like he was expecting her to push him away. "Megamind," _I love you_. "Why are you so hot?" she said instead.

Of course, this was the only time he translated her statement into something _not_ literal, and a smug smirk flickering across his face. "Oh, you find me _hot_, Miss Ritchi?" he said with that villain drawl she hadn't heard in a while. "You find me _terrifyingly_ _handsome_, do you?" She blushed and he raised an eyebrow at her, twisting a strand of her hair in his fingertips at the back of her head.

"Yes, but that's not what I was trying to say," she lifted herself off of him more as his smile widened. "You're really hot. Like a fever or something." She placed a hand on his bare chest again, then felt his forehead with the back of her hand.

He frowned. "I don't feel sick."

She pushed herself up to a kneeling position between his legs, puzzled. "Maybe you're having some sort of heat stroke. How long were you in the fire?"

He sat up next to her, rubbing his arms self-consciously. "I don't know, a few minutes maybe?" He paused, and Roxanne could practically see him counting in his enormous head. "Seventeen minutes and forty-three seconds." Against her will, Roxanne inhaled sharply. It was easy to forget he was an entirely different species than herself when she was making out with him in a closet or on her couch; but little details like remembering the exact amount of seconds in an inferno was something no human could ever do. "I was in and out five times though." Megamind offered, misinterpreting her gasp.

Roxanne rubbed her neck and let out a breath, looking out her window towards where the hotel had been. The reflection of her and Megamind crouched on her red couch stared back at her, both of them looking slightly ruffled with their dress clothes in haphazard states of half-off. How had she let this happen, falling in love with a villain-turned-hero; someone who could count every second even as he pulled people who hours earlier had whispered scornfully behind his back out of rubble and fire? Someone who once tied her up and threatened her life frequently, who now hesitated before every touch of her? Someone who could calculate quantum mechanics, but couldn't even pronounce hello on the phone?

"Roxanne?" Megamind's voice was quiet as he lay a hand on her arm. It was hot and dry, the flames under his skin burning her arm. "Roxie?" She pulled out of his grasp, adjusting her dress around her as she padded to the kitchen. He dropped his hand slowly and moved to sit correctly on the couch, his head hanging low; Roxanne watched under her arm as she pulled out two bottles of water from the refrigerator. He looked up at her but didn't raise his head when she walked back over to him, handing him a bottle of water.

"Here," she said, plopping down next to him. He continued to watcher her carefully as he opened the bottle, but once he started to drink he couldn't seem to stop until it was gone. Roxanne handed him the other one and he drained that too. "I thought so."

"Wow," Megamind gasped for air. "I didn't think I was that thirsty."

Roxanne reached over to hold his face in one hand. Of course he didn't, he rarely recognized any forms of hunger or thirst, especially when he was preoccupied. At least he seemed cooler. He smiled at her touch, his hands playing with the empty bottle between his knees.

"You're... amazing. Did you know that?" she murmured. He smiled and dropped his gaze to the bottle briefly, then back up at her, his lip caught in his teeth.

"I'd be nothing without you." He said it so honestly, without any grandeur or sarcasm or self assurance, that Roxanne could feel her heart melting. She almost blurted it out, the three words she had been holding in all evening, but instead she tugged his head to her heart and hugged it. The heat soaked into her chest and she let him go.

"You should really get cooled down before you overheat that big brain of yours," she said, smiling at him. She struggled to her feet and he followed, his hands scalding at her elbow. "Yikes, Megamind." she loosened his hand from her arm, but massaged it in her own while she led the way to her bedroom, or more specifically, her bathroom. "Pay more attention next time so you don't die of heat stroke on me." She flicked on the light and nudged him into her bathroom. He stumbled in, thoroughly confused. She dug around in a drawer and produced a pair of pajama bottoms, red plaid men's ones that she liked to wear on days at home. "Here," she said, tossing the pajamas at him. "Take a cold shower until you don't feel ten degrees too hot."

"Roxanne," he said, that scientist tone taking over to cover his panic. "I highly doubt that I am more than a few degrees overheated. Ten would ultimately result-"

"Just do it," She grinned and shut the door on his ramble. She leaned on the door frame and listened to him mutter about 'Celsius vs. Fear-in-haught' until she heard the shower turn on and his speech turn into hissing at the water. She debated joining him, but an overheated Megamind in an icy shower with a naked Roxanne spelled disaster. So she changed out of her mussed dress into a silky nightgown and grabbed a sports drink from the kitchen. It wasn't until she was sinking into her covers did she remember just how tired she was. She had almost fallen asleep again when Megamind stepped out of the bathroom, her pajama pants just a little too big on him. He blinked at her, his spidery fingers finishing the tie on the waistband. Roxanne sat up and motioned for him. "C'mere."

He paused, like she had expected him to, then joined her in the center of the bed. She handed him the sports drink and he drained that too, gasping for air when it was empty. Even though the light was low, he still looked less flushed than before, more sky than that deep indigo. Roxanne felt the side of his face and tossed the empty bottle on her nightstand. "You seem cooler. Do you feel cooler?"

He grinned at her with quirked eyebrows. "My dear, I am always cool."

"Hmm. Well, good." she said in her unimpressed voice, settling back under the covers and offering him a spot. He slid in next to her, and she snuggled into him, tangling their legs, aligning their bodies and wrapping her arms around him. Her thin nightgown was barely a barrier between his bare chest and hers, something he must have noticed the way his breath hitched. He was still slightly too warm, but nothing compared to the fever from earlier. She nuzzled her cheek into his shoulder and sighed, closing her eyes. She could feel his kiss in her hair.

After a few minutes of silence and darkness, her voice sounded more tired and vulnerable than she expected. "Megamind?"

"Mmm?"

_I love you_. "Thanks for coming to my holiday party."

She could feel him smile on her forehead. "It was my pleasure."

"And Megamind?"

"Yeah?"

_Just say it._ "Don't... don't leave, okay?"

His breath was in her hair as he chuckled softly. "I promise I will never leave you."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Hello fellow puddles of goo! I would like to apologize for this chapter; it's danged long, I accidentally (insert sarcastic finger quotes) started swearing in it, and the rating went up. But here it is anyway, for you lovely people! Also, I have a question: I'm planning on stopping this at 12 kisses, so, one more chapter. Do you want me to smut it up all the way, or keep it semi-un-smutty? Thanks for your input! I'll shut up now.

Chapter Three

Roxanne hopped in the passenger side of the invisible car and grinned at him, the freckles crinkling on her nose. "I don't get it," she said. He watched that one freckle disappear in her dimple. "We've been on lots of dates. How is this a first one again?"

"Because," Megamind said patiently, "all the dates we've been you have taken _me_ out. Now it's _my_ turn to take _you_ somewhere." He flexed his hands on the steering wheel as he pulled dangerously out into traffic. He missed his leather gloves; they hid the callouses and welding burns, which always caused little shadows to fall in Roxanne's eyes. Like she disapproved of them.

"You've taken me lots of places." That freckle reappeared as Roxanne's smile shrank.

"I mean, willingly. Romantically. That is... not part of some evil scheme... _Shit_." He whispered the last part to himself, with a mental kick. Not the best way to start a conversation.

Roxanne laughed, his new favorite soundtrack. "Okay, first date." She punched him playfully.

He pretended that the punch didn't actually hurt, raising an eyebrow at her. "Yes, first date. Let's also make it the first date where something doesn't blow up in our faces." It was unspoken that up until he had been discovered, those real first dates as Bernard had gone off perfectly. He didn't bring them up so as not to reopen wounds, and Roxanne seemed unwilling to mention them either.

"Oh yes, that sounds lovely." Roxanne giggled. Megamind reached for her hand, not really paying attention to the road. She feigned horror, pressing the hand to her chest. "Keep your hands to yourself, mister! A classy girl does not have any hanky-panky on the first date!"

Megamind had frantically snatched his hand over to the radio to cover what he had assumed was real outrage at grabbing her hand. He adjusted the volume back to what it had originally been, throwing her his best 'I'm not buying it' eyebrow wiggle. "As I recall, hand-holding and hugging are perfectly acceptable on first dates." Shit, he had done it. He had mentioned the unmentionable First Dates.

Roxanne either didn't notice, however, or she let it pass without comment. "Okay.," she agreed, and quick as a wink, she grabbed his hand and snuggled into his shoulder. Driving was almost completely beyond his concentration, with her this close he could smell her shampoo, an unruly strand of her cropped hair brushing along his jaw. "So where are we going?"

He blew through a red light, glad that the car was invisible, as half a block later he blew past a traffic cop. "That is classified information, Miss Ritchi. You are just going to have to wait until we get there."

She wiggled on his shoulder into a more comfortable position. He jerked around a car that was going too slow for his tastes. "Uh-huh. And how long 'til we get there?"

"Um," He briefly considered taking a detour to continue the witty banter. "We're there, actually." Discreetly, he pressed a button on the dash and dehydrated a parked car, pulling the invisible one over the cube. Roxanne lifted off his should to peer out the window.

"A club? Not really your style, Blue." He grinned at the name.

"Yeah, but someone gave me a tip that tonight there's a promising new artist performing that we would both love." He watched her touch up her lip gloss in the side mirror. As her red lips took on a darker shine, he wondered what flavor it was. He found himself leaning over to her to find out.

She popped her lips and glanced over at him, smiling mischievously as he closed in. "Would this someone be Minion?" she asked, placing her fingers over his mouth. He nodded after a pause, a pathetic muffled whine leaking under her fingers. "First date, remember?" She kissed her fingers over his lips and bounced out of the car. Megamind dropped his head with a loud groan, then let himself out of the car as well. The door screeched horribly, making not only Roxanne and Megamind wince and grit their teeth, but several people on the sidewalk as well.

"So much for subtlety," he muttered, clicking the car into visibility so he couldn't loose it again. Roxanne just laughed some more, linking hands with him as they entered the club.

"Still haven't gotten around to fixing it?" she asked, her blue eyes twinkling in the multi-colored lights. Megamind fished around in his jeans pocket for the tickets, smiling apologetically at the usher when he gawked openly at the couple. He missed Roxanne's frown and narrowed eyes as people stared at them rudely, no doubt muttering to each other about him.

"I've had other projects," he shrugged, searching for a table. Roxanne followed, pressing close to him as they maneuvered around the tiny seating area. As they approached, several obviously underage kids vacated a table in the corner, whispering to each other and giving Megamind somehow both scared and superior looks at the same time. He frowned and shifted out of their way so they didn't risk touching him and potentially freak out. Or start him freaking out. Crowds still gave him the heebie-jeebies, maybe because he had been nearly crushed in a mob on more than one occasion. Apart from Roxanne, he preferred humans to give him space.

"Hmm. Perfect." Roxanne said simply, brushing a crumpled napkin off the now clear table. Megamind realized that he was squeezing her hand a little too tight and relinquished it, giving her a grateful smile. They took seats, crunched up together in the corner, the little table a perfect barrier as odd people squished past.

For a while they simply people-watched, making up ridiculous stories about the weirdos milling about the club and pondering who they were actually going to see. Whoever it was had quite a bizarre following, judging by the amount of people in costume. "Wait, was that a pirate?" "I thought the theme was robots?" "No it's gotta be wizards, look." A waitress slithered her way over and got them drinks, flawlessly pretending that Megamind was no more weird than any other patron. Since he had no idea what anything was, Roxanne ordered them two martinis and he discovered that olives were quite possibly the tastiest snacks ever.

"Screw this little triangle drink, just get me a glass of ohleaves." Roxanne placed her garnish into his drink and took a sip. He tried to kiss her cheek, but she ducked, pink and green lights flashing in her hair.

"First date, remember?" That favorite freckle of his winked out as she ran a finger down his goatee. He let out a pained breath and she smiled wider, the blue in her eyes sparkling as the lights dimmed. She didn't protest as he moved in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. In fact, contrary to her 'first date' rule, she kissed him back, just as softly, for the club had hushed as the lights focused on the stage. He poked his tongue out, just enough to taste her lip gloss. Peppermint. The flavor of victory.

The music had started, and his ears twitched as he vaguely recognized the guitar chords. He and Roxanne disengaged the kiss at the same time, turning in horror to the stage. "No...," Megamind whispered. Roxanne started to laugh, muffling it with both hands.

Music Man, looking more like an Elvis Rockstar than ever, leaned into the mic and dutifully (and wretchedly) sang, "I have eyes, that can see..."

"NOOO," Megamind groaned quietly in his corner, tipping his head back and pressing his hands into his temple. Roxanne gained composure long enough to pat his knee sympathetically. Megamind ran his hands over his face and shook his head. "No, no, no, I did _not_ just take you to a Music Man concert..." Roxanne took her hand off his leg to muffle her laughter again, as Megamind watched the man on stage with most of his face hidden in his hands.

"Oh my god, the _irony_," Roxanne chuckled, wiping tears from under her eyes.

"Oh my god, I'm so, so, so, sorrrreee..." Megamind covered his mouth like he was going to throw up as the song progressed.

"...Looks just like him, tassels and all." Megamind and Roxanne snapped their attention to the table nearby. Three college-age guys took swigs from their beers in unison, and Roxanne cracked up.

"Wish I could just quit and be a kick-ass rocker." They sipped their beers pensively.

"Naw dude, you could never be as awesome." Sip.

"Fuckin' cool as hell to see him again." Knuckle bumps were passed around the table, and then they went back to their beers.

A table of robots, it was impossible to tell which gender, leaned over and agreed, "Duuuude,"

Megamind and Roxanne exchanged significant glances. "Wait, so they all_ know_?" he hissed.

Roxanne started to shrug, but a girl in a cape and glasses turned around and burst out, "Like hell we know!" She actually started to cry as Megamind attempted to make sense of that statement, holding up his hands like he could magically turn off her tears. "He's my HERO. I will always..." she sniffled dramatically and squeaked, "_love him_!" She burst into muffled sobs and turned back to watch Music Man strum away on his electric guitar. Her friend, decked out in so many Metro Man themed buttons that her shirt wasn't visible, glared at Megamind and Roxanne as if they were personally responsible for the onslaught of crying.

"We're his biggest fans. We'll support him no matter _what_ he's doing." She patted the caped girl on the back. "And if he's Music Man now, that's fine."

"I'll drink to that!" The three college guys clinked beers rather loudly and chugged the remains.

"Hold on, you know exactly who Music Man is and you're okay with it?" Megamind burst out sceptically. "You're just gonna let the city be hero-less?" Music Man's song grew to a truly horrible crescendo, perfectly mirroring Megamind's point. The waitress swept by again with a new round of beers for the college dudes and lime green drinks for the robots.

"We got you for that now, buddy," one of the guys said, casually raising his beer. Megamind turned to pass a few exasperated looks with Roxanne and found her nodding thoughtfully.

"Wha-huh?" Megamind said intelligently, glancing between Roxanne, the drunk college dudes, the crying girls and the possibly stoned robots. Roxanne squeezed his knee.

"You man." One of the guys swung his beer in a large drunken arc, sloshing beer on the two girls. "You're the hero. Metro Man or Music Man or whatever he is now can take a break, 'cause you got the city." He tipped sideways as he chugged his beer. "In a good way. You save things, he weaves lyrical magic." And with that statement he flopped over on his little table, his buddies saving his beer from spilling by drinking it themselves.

"Duuuude." The robots agreed.

Megamind couldn't think of anything to say, his jaw hanging slightly open before he realized how stupid that must look and shut it. Music Man's song came to a horrible end and another, even more awful one started up. ("Walking on water is only fun when you're an important historical figure")

"You know, his guitar playing isn't all that bad," Roxanne said conversationally.

"Please don't try to rationalize this obscenity for my benefit," Megamind rolled his eyes. "His chords are sloppy and obvious at best, and are entirely unsupported by the quality of his singing, which, by the way..." Roxanne chose to shut him up by leaning in for another light kiss.

By the sound of things, the college guys had whistled and exchanged some form of manly punching each other, and the robots had started another chorus of "Duuuude," again. One of the girls squeaked, both of them chiming in with an extended "Awwww," that quickly increased pitch and became a scream. Megamind grimaced and reached for his gun, intending to dehydrate the lot of them until he could kiss Roxanne without interruption. He opened one eye to scowl when he remembered that he left his gun in the car, and that's when he noticed the pirate on stage, holding a sword in Music Man's face.

"Well, that's new," he said, a little too happily. The fangirls appeared to be screaming for Music Man's sake, but they were able to spare a withering glare in Megamind's direction.

"I know who you are, and I order you to FIGHT, hero!" The pirate demanded. As almost an after thought, he added, "Yarr."

"Hmm," Roxanne used her thumb to fix a smear of her lip gloss, indifferent to the drama beginning to unfold on the stage. "He could use a few pointers on his presentation."

"Kick his pirate ass, Music Man!" One of the college boys roared. The other two joined in with similar sports-like encouragement.

"Leave Music Man ALONE!" the caped girl cried, waving her thin arms in the air. The pirate onstage ignored the crowd and faked a lunge at Music Man, who looked as blasé as ever. He didn't even appear upset that his song was interrupted, probably due to his long history of Things Being Interrupted by Megamind.

"Arrg you lily-livered scallywag! Ye will... submit to duel this instant! Or ye shall walk the plank and suffer... Davy Jones' Locker!" The pirate waved his sword in Music Man's face.

"At least he's mostly sticking to the pirate theme." Megamind tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Although I'm at a loss to why he thinks he can defeat Metro... er, Music Man with a historically accurate sword. I mean, _I_ had the best technology available, and he still... sorta won. Sometimes."

"Yeah, but threatening him to Davy Jones' Locker is totally irrelevant. We're nowhere near the ocean." Roxanne finished off the last sip of her martini. "At least I'm not tied up for this."

"MUSIC. MAN." The robots joined in the crowd's jeering. It sounded like most people just wanted the pirate to leave without confrontation, although the college boys were shouting for blood.

"Oh, so the locker belonging to Davy Jones resides within the ocean you say? Suddenly those movies make so much more sense." Megamind cocked his head to the side as he considered this new information. Roxanne elbowed him playfully.

"Music Man, ruuuun!" The button girl yelled with surprising volume. Megamind decided later that this was the exact moment when everything went completely wrong.

"Shiver me timbers," the pirate spat, almost like a curse, and he pulled a grenade out of his excellent coat pocket, pulled the pin and hurled it directly behind Music Man.

"Oh, hell!" Megamind exclaimed. He jumped out of his seat like he had received an electrical shock, knocking over the little table in the process. Megamind did his best not to grin as the stage exploded spectacularly, pieces of a drum set, plaster and fire peppering the screaming fans. Music Man had disappeared in the smoky mess, no doubt using his super speed to escape.

"WHY would a pirate have grenades?" Roxanne said grumpily, also getting to her feet, if only to press herself out of the way as there was a mass of club-goers exiting the building. Megamind had been swept up in the exhilaration he always felt with a nice, good explosion; joining in the high fives and fist pounding with the college boys. "Megamind!"

"Oh, right!" he grinned apologetically at her.

"Give him hell, man," in a bizarre moment, the college boys saluted Megamind. After a few seconds pause, so did the robots, which in the smoky haze Roxanne could finally see consisted of two girls and two boys, obviously in a love quadrangle with all the hand-holding and angst going on between them. Megamind waved back, unsure of the gesture. The moment was gone as his odd new friends were swept towards the doors in a wave of panicked people.

He reached automatically for his gun, usually holstered on his right hip, remembering again when his fist closed on air that he wasn't wearing it. Because, for some reason, weapons were frowned upon when on a date, especially in public. Well, shit_._ He made a mental note to add an invisible setting to his favorite pistol so he could never go anywhere without it again. The insane pirate pulled out another grenade, shouting useless pirate-y things when he discovered Music Man had escaped.

"Shit, shit!" Megamind grumbled under his breath, vaulting over a table and pushing past a group of hysterical leather-clad groupies. Fortunately, the area directly around the stage was clear of humans, as the pirate man's grenade fell short in the mosh pit. Megamind dove behind an overturned table, knocking his shoulder and knee painfully on the floor as he rolled. The grenade took a chunk out of the area in front of the stage, making his ears ring and splinters dig through his Black Sabbath t-shirt and into his right side.

"Yo ho ho and a bottle of RUM!" the pirate yelled, throwing yet another grenade on the last word. This one sailed much further than the last one, landing somewhere close to where their table was.

"Roxanne!" Megamind yelled, watching helplessly as a table was blown to bits and someone dressed as a giant teddy bear was thrown into the air. Not Roxanne, not Roxanne, not Roxanne; the mantra was the only thought his amazing blue head could come up with. Alongside mental blueprints of his pistol's upgrades, and death threats to the pirate if she was hurt.

"Pirates. Don't have. Grenades!" Roxanne's voice was closer than he expected, and a safe distance away from the smoking crater of the third grenade. Megamind swallowed heavily, his chest tightening as his emotions conflicted with Roxanne being safely away from the bomb, and her now too close to the madman.

Through the fuzziness in his hearing, Megamind vaguely hear the pirate muttering to himself, "Metro Man, Metro Man, prove that he's Metro Man and get my booty." Megamind made an 'O' face as realization dawned on him. He stood carefully from his hiding spot, holding his hands out to show he was unarmed.

"Okay, listen... matey... Metro Man is gone and you should-"

"YAARG!" The pirate tossed his latest grenade back into the stage and leapt at Megamind, brandishing his blade. Megamind dodged nimbly, sucking in his stomach as the tip of the sword swished harmlessly past. The last grenade exploded, taking out much of the back wall and throwing bits of brick and dust everywhere. The battle should have been fairly easy from there, the idiot had no technique for the art of sword fighting and had left himself entirely open for attack. Megamind should have been able to disarm the weirdo and end the fight had Roxanne not joined into the fray.

"Megs!" She gasped, apparently under the assumption that he had been cut. She jumped out of the smoke, brandishing a table leg like a baseball bat. The pirate used the momentum of his strike to turn around and slash at Roxanne. She swung her table leg, socking him in the stomach with it, but he flourished his sword and a bright ribbon of crimson blood appeared on her yellow shirt, making her drop the table leg. Roxanne pressed her left arm into her side and ducked the next wave of the sword, stumbling to one knee.

Words couldn't form in Megamind's mouth. He grabbed the nearest thing at hand; Music Man's electric Elvis-inspired guitar, and smashed it on the back of the pirate. Unfortunately, it had been severely damaged at some point during the loose grenade chucking, so all he managed to do was separate the body from the neck of the guitar, the strings twanging as they snapped.

"Hornswaggler!" The pirate yelped as he turned. He held his sword level at Megamind, who in turn held the neck of the guitar out at the pirate. The pirate slashed and Megamind blocked with his piece of ruined guitar, and the sword fight began. They were seemingly matched, the pirate was semi-terrible at sword fighting, whereas Megamind had hours of study from _Star Wars_, but a very inefficient blade. He led the pirate back a few steps as Roxanne scrambled to her feet, still keeping her arm pressed to her side. Distracted as he was, Megamind couldn't ascertain if it was her torso that got stabbed, or just her arm. Either way, there was too much blood on her shirt for his comfort.

"I'm okay," she wheezed before he could ask. "Where's the dehydration gun?"

"Car," he grunted, parrying the pirate's aimless slashing. He fished in the pockets of his jeans, an evil grin worming it's way onto his face as he flawlessly blocked the pirate with his crappy guitar-sword. The keys flashed in the smoke as they arched over the pirate's head; Roxanne caught them neatly, grimacing as she reached up to snatch them. She spun on her heel and vanished back into the haze of dust and smoke.

"Heave ho!" the pirate growled, his teeth bared. Megamind's guitar cracked ominously as the blade met it again.

"Will you _stop_ with the pirate thing?" Megamind wheezed. "You're not any good at it!"

"Hey, fuck you pal," the pirate snapped, chopping off a good four inches from end of the guitar neck. A large fracture ruptured down the remains, but it stayed in one piece. Megamind added his other hand to help keep it whole until Roxanne returned.

"Better, I suppose," He attempted to bash the pirate on the head, but for once the pirate used his advantage and kicked Megamind right in the middle of his chest, knocking him on his back.

"Thar she blows!" The pirate yelled happily, slashing down at Megamind. He brought up his piece of guitar to block, and the period-accurate sword became wedged in the middle of it, tangled in the twisted remains of a fret. This didn't seem to deter the pirate all that much, as he just threw his entire body weight on top, pressing the sword right into Megamind's face.

"That doesn't even make any sense," Megamind said through clenched teeth, resolving to do more push-ups along with the invisible addition to his pistol. The blade pressed closer and closer, finally digging into his eyebrow.

"Hands off my date," Roxanne's voice was pure heaven, a bright light flashing in Megamind's eyes as the weight of the pirate was lifted and a little blue cube clattered on the floor.

"Whoosh!" Megamind exhaled, throwing the remnants of his guitar-sword away from him and relaxing into the floor. Roxanne's footsteps hurried over to him so he sat up, smiling tiredly at her. She was covered in soot and grime, her entire left side dyed red under her folded arm and his pistol hanging loosely in her good hand, but she was smiling back at him. "That was a nicely delivered last line, and a really good shot! He could learn a few things about presentation from you." Megamind picked up the cube and pushed himself to his feet.

"I hate pirates," Roxanne's voice wavered, and she pressed her forehead into his shoulder.

"Some first date, huh?" he sighed. "We get attacked by a maniac, half the club gets bombed and horror of horrors, we have to listen to Music Man's so-called _music_," Roxanne let out an exhausted laugh into his shirt. "Not to mention dealing with his fans. I mean, what on earth were all the costumes for anyway?" He tucked the pirate cube into his pocket and gingerly wrapped his arms around her back, snagging his pistol from her loose hands. She leaned deeper into his shoulder and moaned.

He moved his hands up to rub her shoulders, peeling her off his shirt so he could get a good look at her face. She did seem a little pale, but that could have been a trick of the smoldering firelight. Her blue eyes were brimming with tears, however, something that Megamind was not used to at all. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly, looking deeper into her eyes for any hints of pain. "Because I could take you to a hospital if you need it. Or a ride in an Ahm-blee-ance."

"Megamind I..." she reached up and touched the cut on his eyebrow, twin tears spilling out of the corner of her eyes. "I'm so glad you didn't die." Before he could even think of a response, she was kissing him, holding the back of his neck to her as if he might disappear. She tasted of salt and rubble, the peppermint of barely ten minutes ago lost under a layer of ash. He kissed her softly at first, wary of injury, but then deeper and deeper as he replayed scenes of the battle in his head, seeing how close to death she had gotten. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and squishing her arm in between his stomach and her ribcage. She was hanging onto his neck almost painfully, kissing him with enough abandon to mirror his own. He could feel her tears mingling with the kiss, hot and bitter as he memorized the feel of her. She grimaced in pain, her teeth forming a barrier for a quick second. He paused and pulled away, but she held him in place and tried to cover her small hesitation with a deep, fast kiss, all anger and passion.

"Mmph, Roxanne," he mumbled. She could easily kiss him into oblivion. He pulled away for a breath of air and she gasped as well, her fingers clutching his vertebrae. "It's okay, Roxanne," he assured her, leaning in to brush the tears from her cheeks with his lips. She let go of his neck, letting her good hand dangle off his shoulder. He rubbed her back in what he hoped was a soothing motion.

"Everyone okay in here?" A young paramedic flashed a penlight into their eyes. Megamind squinted and ducked his head away from the light, but Roxanne let the kid examine her briefly. While they had been preoccupied, the ruined club had filled with firefighters and a few police officers, whom had generously left the couple alone. Roxanne was leaning heavily into his body, still pressed up against him, yet somehow the paramedic had discovered all the blood on her side. "Miss, why don't you come outside and sit down for a second?" he asked gently, but Roxanne shook her head.

"It's fine, I just scratched my arm, that's all." She scrubbed the tears and soot off her face with her free hand, exasperated. Megamind shifted his hold on her so he could lead her outside.

"Rox, I think you might need a hospital," He said as kindly as he could muster. He could see a cop wandering his way, looking determined for a statement. The paramedic fell in step with them, and Megamind guided everyone around the police officer. Hero or not, he still didn't really like actually talking to the city's finest.

"Megamind!" Several voices exclaimed as they left the club. I'm ignoring you, Megamind thought. He took a deep breath of fresh air, cool and crisp and almost painfully good after the stuffy, hot, dusty mess inside. He and the paramedic began leading Roxanne towards an ambulance parked a safe distance away, but she stopped short.

"I don't want an ambulance. My insurance can't take it." Roxanne mumbled. The paramedic looked slightly crushed, but he nodded knowingly.

"What? Insurance?" Megamind wiped at the blood trickling from his eyebrow as it dyed his vision a sickly color of blue-green.

"Megamind," called an authoritative sounding voice.

"I'll explain it later," Roxanne sighed. "Can we just leave now?"

Oh yes we can, Megamind thought, studiously avoiding eye contact with the approaching Sheriff. "Sure," he said softly, turning to the invisible car. "Here ya go. Careful of the grenades and pirate lingo," He dropped the dehydrated cube into a police woman's surprised hands, propped Roxanne in the passenger seat and sped off so fast he didn't even need the invisible mechanism.

* * *

He ended up taking Roxanne back to the Lair, because he knew when she was lying, and she was not 'fine'. He set her on the edge of the bathtub, and she perched there, clutching her arm to her side. In the light of the bathroom, she actually looked much better than she had back in the club, the grime on her face and clothes not making a dent on her general positive attitude, the blood stain on her shirt less dense and more like several dry smears. He busied himself with gathering supplies, so he wouldn't have to meet her default 'what are you up to' stare.

He sat down next to her on the rim of the tub and attempted to pull her arm off her side. She held it clamped to her ribs with surprising strength. "Roxanne, let me see your arm," he demanded, not unkindly. She locked eyes with him, some unknown emotion flickering across her face. Despair?

"S' not my arm," she mumbled. Her eyes fluttered shut and she went limp, crumpling backwards into the bathtub. Megamind threw himself backwards as well, catching her with the majority of his body and wincing as his back met the ground for the second time that night.

"Ohmygosh!" Megamind adjusted Roxanne so she was cradled in the bathtub. She wasn't unconscious, just maybe in shock? He peeled her arm off her side with nimble fingers to see a streak of fresh blood oozing under her shirt. Suddenly panicked at the sight of so much red, he stripped off her tattered yellow shirt to get a better look at the wound. She had a long cut, grazing just under her ribcage on her left side. It wasn't very deep and didn't look like it had harmed any internal organs, but dammit if it didn't bleed a lot!

Over the years, Megamind had gotten pretty good at patching himself up after battles and breakouts. Nothing too fancy, but then again, he healed pretty fast. With Roxanne's cut, he had never cleaned and dressed a wound so quickly, or so meticulously, in his life. Her shock wore off and she just watched him, the corner of her lips quirking upwards at his frantic movements.

"I told you I was fine," she said when he was mostly finished.

"You should have gone to a fucking hospital." His words were more severe and angry than he expected, and he glowered at her as she smiled a bit wider. "Insurance, whatever the hell that is, be damned."

"Aw, I think you did okay." She lifted her arms, the left one smudged with dried blood. "Help me up?" He sent her one more scowl and scooped her up entirely in his arms, clambering out of the bathtub and carrying her out of the bathroom. He deposited her on his giant leather couch, and sat heavily next to her, running his hands over his face.

"You scared me," he looked over at her, hoping he didn't appear too pitiful. She scrambled to sit up next to him, reaching out and rubbing his arm. All of a sudden, he was all too aware that she was in just her jeans and a bra, her shirt forgotten on the floor of the bathroom.

"Well, you scare me all the time, so we're even." He was mesmerized by the sight of so much skin; the curve of her breasts was spattered with freckles as well, her tiny waist accentuated by the bright white gauze tied around it. "And don't give me the 'you should go to the hospital routine', because you _never_ go, no matter how banged up you get." The blue in her eyes sparkled as she warmed up in her tirade. Normally, the freckles across her nose stood out like stars when she ranted, but they were lost under a dusting of ash. She started to say something else, but Megamind lunged at her, capturing her mouth with his. Her leg slid up behind his back as she fit herself around him, matching up like a puzzle piece. My god, how he loved this woman. But everyone knew that.

Her tears and tiny fainting spell from earlier were gone, replaced by the usual fire that was Roxanne Ritchi. He twisted, feeling the need to taste all of her. His hands found their way to her bare skin, grazing over his handiwork and resting gently just below her bra. He pressed his palms into her, feeling how smooth she was with his thumbs. She melted into him for a minute, then pulled away. "You can't pull my own trick on me, it won't-" He silenced her, his tongue snatching the words out of her mouth. His hands traced around the edge of her bra towards her back.

"Ah-ah! See, this is what I mean, you have a splinter or something in your hand." She tugged on his arm so she could examine the hand, avoiding his lips as he sought to keep kissing her. He finally moved to kiss along her jaw as she held his hand flat to scrutinize it. "Megamind please, I'm trying to remove this ridiculously large splinter and you're making it difficult." He laughed against her neck, moving down it to nip at her exposed collarbone. She picked at his palm with her fingernails, succeeding in pulling out a sliver of wood that felt about as long as his guitar-sword had been. He hissed into the swell of flesh above her heart and she shivered. His hand at last free, Megamind twitched it out of her grasp and back to the clasp on her bra. He glanced up at her to make sure she was comfortable with it, and she smiled warmly down at him, her eyes dark and half-lidded despite her lecture.

He unclasped and disposed of the device in one quick move, faltering to admire her exposed breasts as she lay back on his couch. Roxanne was gorgeous, and when he told her as much, she flushed prettily. It was like she had awoken some deep hunger within him as he moved back to nibble at her breasts. A large part of him was ravenous, sucking at her skin and grazing her nipple with his teeth; but another part of him just wanted to curl up with her and be smothered in her warm embrace. His hands memorized the shape of her, skipping neatly over the cut on her side as he explored her stomach. She slipped her own hands under his shirt, feeling up his chest until he could stand it no longer and paused to shed his own t-shirt, tossing it aside like he was frustrated with the garment as he moved back to taste her other breast.

"Megamind," Roxanne started. He swirled his tongue around her areola and her fingertips dug into his back. He relished in the flavor of her, ignoring pinpricks of pain in his right side as her hands swept down his back. "Megamind," she said again sternly. He moved to kiss the area between her breasts, working his way back up to the hollow of her neck. She slid her knee up between his legs, pressing it gently into his groin. A jolt ran through his entire body, snapping his eyes to hers and making his back ache as his spine locked. His breathing was ragged, his heart hammering into his bruised sternum and his skin hot against hers.

"Got your attention didn't I?" she smirked, protesting as he moved lightning fast to kiss her lips again. "You've got more splinters in your side," she murmured into his mouth. "What did you do, roll around in them?" Her fingers found another sliver of wood embedded in his ribs, but he refused to stop kissing her, marveling at how soft she was. "If that's the way you want to do it..." she sighed, yanking out the splinter.

Megamind yelped, his eyes flying open and his body twitching away from her on instinct. A string of unintelligible curse words fell out of his mouth as he gave Roxanne a pleading look. "I'm not going to let you make out with me when you have splinters the size of pencils sticking out of your skinny ass," she said dourly, but she leaned up and placed another kiss on his lips. He didn't give in at first, wary of her hands on his splintery side, but Roxanne was impossible to resist. Just as he melted back in bliss she jerked out another splinter.

"Ah! Shit! Roxanne," he yelped again, jolting off of her and twisting his injured side away from her devious hands. She sat up, catching his arm as he tried to stand, a playful grin on her face.

"Come back you wimp! There's only two left."

"Wimp! I'm no wimp, I am Megamind: Incredibly Brave and..."

"Handsome Master of all Heroics, yadda yadda. Get over here so I can pull them out." Megamind sat stiffly on the very edge of the couch as she plucked at the nefarious pieces of rubble. "Where is Minion, by the way?" Roxanne asked, obviously trying to distract him.

"Out," Megamind said evasively. "Roxanne listen I'm..." He sucked in a breath through his teeth as she pulled out a bit of wood. "I'm really sorry about our date. It didn't go very well at all."

Roxanne yanked out another splinter and he winced. "Don't be. It was a very exciting first date; I wouldn't want it any other way." She patted his arm affectionately. "All done."

"I kinda don't deserve you," he mumbled in wonder. She pecked the tip of his nose and wandered back to the bathroom.

"We'll see about that. I'm gonna need to wash my face and a new shirt if I'm going to stay the night, and you need to fix yourself up a bit. C'mon," Megamind stood and followed her to the bathroom, marveling at how he had managed to land her at all.

* * *

Megamind woke the next morning like he always did; all at once with a thousand new ideas just itching to be worked on. He remembered in time not to bounce directly into some new project, but instead to relax so as not to wake the phenomenal person sleeping on his chest. Roxanne stirred anyway, coming round slowly like she was swimming her way out of a dream. Megamind watched, a little guilty that his startled awakening had bothered her. She was wearing his all-time favorite AC/DC t-shirt, one he had actually gotten at a concert. It was tight around her torso, the fading logo stretched across her chest. He had given it to her last night in the hopes that her scent would transfer onto it, thereby making it that much better.

"Morning," he whispered into her hair. She snuggled into him, not yet ready to wake up.

"Hi," she murmured sleepily into his neck. He fingered the hem of her t-shirt, remembering the grope session from the night before after the pirate attack.

"You know, I'm always kinda surprised that you would stay with some one who routinely gets you slashed half to hell," he remarked conversationally, feeling the little knot of her bandage on her waist. She adjusted herself to fix him with a glare.

"Megamind, I'm not going anywhere. Ever." She smoothed his head and he felt his thoughts go fuzzy at her touch. "I lo.. I'm not leaving." She kissed him softly and his insides turned to mush. They continued for a while, just feather-light kisses as she petted his head and he wound his arms around her.

"Morrr-ning! Who wants breakfast?" Minion's voice sang out. The sound of his giant robotic suit clomped into the Lair. "OH! Oh, uh... Never mind. I can come back." He tromped back out, but it didn't matter. Roxanne had dissolved into giggles.

"That fish..." Megamind growled. Roxanne nudged him, and he watched that favorite freckle of his wink out in her dimple.

"I like Minion. And I ll-like this couch, but if I'm going to stay over more often you need to invest in a bed."

"Consider it vested," Megamind said. "Let's go get some breakfast before Minion decides to come back."


End file.
